Jersey change doesn't alter Cain's mojo

San Francisco donned its Cinco de Mayo "Gigantes" uniforms Thursday against Colorado. Maybe witness protection would have been a better option.

Matt Cain was awful. Vin Mazzaro was awful. The defense was awful. And the offense finally ran up the white flag as the Rockies demolished the Giants 17-7.

No explanation required. (AP Photo)

What started off as a slugfest turned into something akin to a human sacrifice as Colorado broke open a close game with the biggest inning by an opponent in the history of AT&T Park.

Think back to last Friday when the Mets hung a 12-run frame on the G-Men -- the biggest inning they'd allowed since 1997. The logical fan thinks "At least we won't see that again anytime soon".

It took six days, but to be totally straight at least it wasn't another 12-run inning this time around.

Colorado scored 13 times in the top of the fifth, sending 17 batters to the plate and clubbing 10 hits. The Giants graciously added two errors, two walks and a hit batsman to the carnage as the concession stands made a killing switching from garlic fries and cha-cha bowls to Alka Seltzer and Vicodin.

Plop, plop. Fizz, fizz. No relief.

Some perspective on the level of ineptitude on display. Both the Rockies and Mets put up the largest offensive innings in their respective franchise histories. The Giants became the first team in Major League history to surrender innings of a dozen or more runs twice within week.

Clear that spot in the Hall of Fame. When you go to the park hoping to see history, this isn't generally what you envision.

Much of the game played like someone had teleported Coors Field to San Francisco but forgot the damn humidor.

Cain retired the first two enemy batters then surrendered four straight hits, Nolan Arrenado's two-run homer being the biggest blast as Colorado jumped out to a 3-0 edge. The inning also featured a Brandon Belt brain fart, trying to sell a call at first base while Gerardo Parra scored from second on an infield single.

The offense battled back, blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited. Denard Span and Matt Duffy doubled and singled respectively to put runners at the corners before Buster Posey doubled into the left field corner to score both, ending Colorado starter Chris Rusin's scoreless innings streak at 14 1/3. It coulda been more but Belt got robbed on a sinking liner to center and Brandon Crawford had a would-be RBI taken away on a grounder up the middle as Colorado showed off the leather.

Cain was hardly off the hook but the air that had been sucked out of the park by Colorado's outburst started to leak back in. Like that was gonna last. 

A second-inning double was cashed in by another two-out RBI hit and the Rockies' lead was 4-2. It was the second straight start in which Cain got touched for four runs in the first two innings; and this time all scored with two out. The Giants tried to play that game as well. Gregor Blanco reached on an infield single and scored on Span's two-our double: 4-3 Rockies after two.

Cain enjoyed a seven-pitch third and the Giants went back to work, but three hits to open the frame failed to produce a run when Posey was thrown out at the plate. Mac Williamson then grounded out 6-4-3 and the chance was wasted. There was more missed opportunity in the Giants' fourth. Kelby Tomlinson doubled and would reach third with one out but died there when Cain and Span both whiffed.

Stanzas three and four were the Giants' season in a snapshot. They can score and they can pitch, but rarely seem to do both at the same time.

Cain could have been lifted for a hitter with that runner at third and one out. If only. He stayed, fanned, then celebrated what has become tradition; a  fifth-inning meltdown.

Trevor Story led off with a liner over the left field wall, Carlos Gonzalez doubled, and Crawford bounced the throw on Arenado's grounder. Parra singled up the middle to make it 6-3 and Cain was gone after 79 pitches without recording an out in the fifth. He would eventually be charged with eight runs and did not strike out a batter.

The one-time ace is now winless in his last 12 starts Yep, he can join Jake Peavy on the "done" list.

Vin Mazzaro came on and tossed what should have been a two ball, but Tomlinson booted it. Bases juiced, nobody out. Check that, Tony Wolters doubled into the corner to make it 8-3 and the rout was on. As noted, the Rockies eventually put up 13 in the frame and the competitive portion of the game was over.

It has become an annoying yet regular occurrence; the big inning. It's the kind of trend that makes you think an MLB mercy rule isn't that bad of an idea. 

The Giants did send nine men to the plate in the bottom of the inning and trim the lead to an even 10. At that point the game was already 2 1/2 hours long and the gulls had begun to circle. The fifth inning alone took 61 minutes. 

Where's the good news? Well, Joe Panik is expected to return on Friday and Angel Pagan could be back by Monday. George Kontos is slated to pitch on Sunday for AAA Sacramento. Less cheery, CSN Bay Area reports Sergio Romo is throwing from flat ground but is still about a month away.

Less bad pitching, more Amy G.

The best part of that last graph? We got to hear from Amy G. On a night like this that's a genuine highlight.

None of that, of course, addressed the obvious weakness in the rotation. Cain and Peavy clearly are anchors dragging it down. Cain's contract would be hard to eat but Peavy's, well, here's hoping he's got an out in his lease. 

Changes need to happen soon. Hell, how do you justify scoring seven runs on 16 hits yet still getting bombed like Fallujah after dark without making a move? Calling Tim Lincecum? Chase Blackburn? Tyler Beede? We're beyond done with Chris Heston but he couldn't be any worse. Heck, the exhumed bones of Christy Mathewson might be an improvement.

Right now even Steve Perry has stopped believin'.

The Giants fall to 15-15 yet remain tied with Colorado and idle Los Angeles, both 14-14, atop the wretchedly-mediocre NL West.

The Giants will try to hold back the wave of "meh" on Friday by sending Madison Bungarner (3-2, 3.03 ERA) out against Chad Bettis (2-1, 3.89).

Or you could skip it in favor of "Captain America: Civil War." We're considering it.

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