A completely-biased, totally-outrageous, completely-irrational and sometimes unbelievably-unhinged view of San Francisco Giants Baseball.

April 6, 2017

What this team really needs is a do-over.

We're still trying to find out voice, migrating from last year's pseudo play-by-play to something more opinion based. So instead of taking copious notes on the positioning of infielders with two strikes and a full moon we've tried to soak in the feel and attitude of the game.

And right now this feels like crud and our attitude blows.

One of the trademarks of a winning baseball team is the ability to take an opponent's mistakes and beat them into submission with them.

While it's still unclear how good, if at all, the 2017 Giants are, we've already seen both sides of that coin. The Giants rode a crucial error on Tuesday to notch their first win of the season, then made that miscue on Wednesday to open up the floodgates en route to blowing a lead for the second time in three games.  

And the pitching hasn't helped. God knows, the pitching hasn't helped.

To date, the starters have been spotty, the bullpen abysmal, and because of that the Giants have surrendered 18 runs over the first three games. We'd feared offense might be an issue but the Giants have clubbed out 5, 8 and 6 runs over than same span only to go 1-2. They hope for the series equalizer Thursday before heading to San Diego -- the ceremonial burial ground of last season's fast start.

I'm ready to hand a viking funeral to the 2017 launch right now. Commish Rob Manfred love changing rules. Can we have a do-over?

I can hear (figuratively) the bottled being hurled at screens and smart phones right now, wondering why I'm throwing the starters on the steaming pile of whatever has been steaming since Sunday. Matt Moore can surely be forgiven considering his implosion coincided with Brandon Belt's attempt to field a grounder with a dust pan. But keep in mind he helped create than mess and didn't help clean it up, and the number of pitches he used to accomplish nothing made

We need a bright spot and darn it, Nunez is one. (USA Today)
him look like a member of Congress.

It's sacrilege to throw shade on Madison Bumgarner. The optimist looks at his 11-strikeout, seven inning performance and thinks he was awesome. The pessimist (raises hand)  wonders how a 3-0 lead disappears within three batters. Johnny Cueto had the same issue, pitching well right up the point that he didn't. I've seen blunts and Grateful Dead shows take more time to go up in smoke than those leads did.

But most troubling is still the bullpen. There are a lot of new haircuts down there but so far we're getting the same results. Relievers have thrown a combined 8 1/3 innings and they've been memorable only for the flashbacks to last year's ineptitude they've prompted. At this point we're considering calling in the team from "Inception" to pry those thoughts out of out head, and backing them up with the "Total Recall" crew to implant something more pleasant -- possibly involving Kate Upton.

The left eye began to twitch when Mark Melancon blew his first save opportunity on opening day, getting the first two hitters he faced before blowing up like Charlie Sheen's career. We'll let you know when Melancon gets the third out -- its been three days and we're still waiting.

Cueto's pitching wasn't stellar but at least his base running was entertaining. (MLB)
Cory Gearrin is still Cory Gearrin, Derek Law doesn't yet know who Derek Law is, and nobody knows who Neil Ramirez is or where he game from. Wait, the statistician tell us he came from Minnesota, and Milwaukee, and Chicago after being drafted by Texas. The statistician has too much free time and needs to go grab us a Starbucks.

It's early but none of these guys are paying immediate dividends. Yes, you have to sit on your Google stock if you want it to pay off but at some point Jim Kramer jumps in and tells you to hit the sell button before it all goes poof.

GM Bobby Evans remains steadfast in his belief that the Giants were just a spate of bad luck away from greatness last season so the cast of characters remains largely intact. Melancon was added because three years of Santiago Casilla (I just threw up in my mouth) serving up rockets was finally enough, but that's the extent of the makeover.

There are some players they must have patience with -- Law is a prime example. But there's either denial, blind loyalty or some form of blackmail that keeps the Giants from  the much-needed housecleaning. The bullpen is shaky, the rotation has a fifth starter whose career was over after 2013 (Matt Cain is the new Jake Peavy), and there's still no answer in left field. The over/under on Drew Stubbs making his Giants debut is seven days.

It's not all doom and gloom. Hunter Pence, Brandon Crawford and a finally-healthy Eduardo Nunez are on fire and both Belt and Joe Panik are making noise, which is great when you're talking about offense and not the moron next door with the 3 am car stereo serenade.  The Giants have score 19 runs. Imagine the fun when Buster Posey gets going. But Denard Span is already gimpy and the black hole that is left field is poised to suck up scoring opportunity like Joey Chestnut slurping hot dogs.

Enough venting. It's too early in the season to say anybody stinks or is poised to take on the world. There are 162 games; everyone wins 54 games, everyone loses 54. The hope is that the games being surrendered now aren't coming out of that third group of contests.

And, of course, the hope is also that Giants management learned a lesson a year ago and doesn't let another opportunity get away.

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