Have you ever just lost the will to live. No? Me neither,
but the will to write sometimes escapes me. After the debacle that was the
Giants’ first home stand, I needed a break. I figured “What the heck? I’ll step
back, calm myself and when I open my eyes the nightmare will be over.”
I closed my eyes and drifted off into some bizarre realm
when Madison Bumgarner couldn’t win to save his life, where left fielders fell (and
hit) like bowling pins, and the spectre of Matt Cain being good again (and
becoming a verb again) seemed tantalizingly realistic. I broke into a cold
sweat. It couldn’t be, could it. Please, dear God, wake me from this horrible
nightmare.
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| This is not a good way to wake up. |
Then the alarm went off. Bumgarner was on the hill in Kansas
City and putting up zeroes like it was Game 7. And that’s when I found out the
nightmare was real. Insert expletive here.
The Giants are 6-10, coming off a two-gamer in KC in which
they managed just two runs over 20 innings of baseball. It’s a miracle they got
a split. San Francisco pitchers surrendered just three runs over that span so I
guess it’s not a mystery; more of a tragedy actually. I would have gone for “comedy
of errors” but there ain’t a damn thing to find funny about this.
San Francisco is dead last in the NL West, four games back
of a Colorado team they face on the road starting Friday. Thankfully nobody is
trying to run away with the Division of Woe. And if that didn’t sound bad
enough, the only team they’d lead if you looked at the wildcard standings is…
well, nobody. I need a drink. Their .375 winning percentage is tied for the
lowest in the NL with St. Louis, and across baseball only Toronto is worse.
Yeah, we’re number 29! Okay, actually tied with the Cards and Rangers for 27th
but you get the picture, and now they have a goal to shoot for. It’s that point
where you’re wondering if you should start rooting for the first draft pick or settling
for the chase for the Flint Megabowl.
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| Answers. Where are the answers? |
I can already hear you tapping on your keyboards (it’s
either that or little doll feet in the attic, which is equally terrifying). “Listen,
Mr. Downer. It’s early. They play 162 in this league. It’s early.” Wow, there
are a lot of cliché’s to explain why you shouldn’t panic this soon.
With apologies to Crash Davis, I don’t like clichés. At
least, not unless I can use one to get a laugh or make a point or .. you get
the idea. I like ‘em when they work for me. My relationship with clichés is
like the one between Donald Trump and the truth – tenuous at best and great only
when they work in my favor. I prefer stats, and here’s one that scares me.
You lose in April, you lose. The last team to win a title
without a winning April was the 2003 Marlins and they were break even (we’re playing
fast and loose with the March start that year). Please resist the urge to retroactively
strap a J.A.T.O. bottle to JT Snow’s ass. The last unit to actually post a
losing April and win was the 2002 Angels, who …. dammit. I wanna strangle a
rally monkey right about now.
Basically you only get to overcome a slow start if you stomp
on the hearts of Giants fans in the process. If that’s the criteria, well, you
do the math.
So what in the name of John Snow has gone so horribly wrong?
The Giants have played five series and managed to win just one. How is it that
a team pundits picked to be in the chase for the postseason could go so
horribly off the rails?
That’s a complex problem but there is a simple answer. They don’t
pitch when they hit; they don’t hit when they pitch, and defense is running hot
and cold like my shower when one of my eight-year-olds flushes the toilet. Prime
example: Madison Bumgarner. The Giants are 0-4 when their ace takes the hill
and it’s not his fault. Over those four starts he’s put up four quality starts
yet gotten just five innings of run support while he was the pitcher of record –
and he’s hit two home runs. He lost in Kansas City when the only run he allowed
scored on a grounder to first that Brandon Belt didn’t field cleanly and on
which Bumgarner himself didn’t cover the bag. Every outing is like a motorcycle
crash and….
Aw crap. Bumgarner was placed in the DL today with rib and
shoulder injuries related to a dirt bike mishap. He can share a room with
Jarrett Parker, I guess. Add to that the
loss of Buster Posey for a week with a concussion, Brandon Crawford having to
deal with family tragedy, left field sucking up more at-bats than a vampire
with Van Helsing on vacation, and Denard Span continuing to be Denard Span, it’s
no wonder Bruce Bochy ended up in the hospital.
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| It does feel like the vultures are starting to circle, doesn't it? |
I don’t know what the answer is but there needs to be one,
and soon. The Giants are throwing everything but the kitchen sink (yes, Melvin
Upton and Drew Stubbs qualify) but they can’t keep playing like the bottom of
the mop bucket after the chili clean-up at Wendy’s. While we enjoyed three
rings in five years, and last of those was three seasons ago. The core remains
but windows don’t stay open forever, and that’s a good way to attract burglars
and pigeons anyway.
Brian Sabean built a reputation as a guy who, depending on your
point of view, either doesn’t panic or fiddles while Rome burns. His successor,
Bobby Evans, is similarly inclined. But this team has weaknesses than need to
be addressed, weaknesses we saw throughout the second half of last year. All
credit to Mark Melancon, but adding one guy doesn’t fix a bullpen any more than
removing one folding chair from a Great White show makes it safe.
C’mon Giants, show us what you’ve got.
