At least this week can't last forever (can it?)

(Best "30 For 30" Voice)

What if I told you Madison Bumgarner gave the Giants get another quality start and Colorado starter Jon Gray didn't get out of the fourth inning? Would you think the Giants chalked up a win?

Ha! Good one, Simba.

Bumgarner gave up six innings of work, Gray had to depart in the fourth due to an injury, and the Giants offense was nonexistent. As has become typical in Bumgarner starts, the San Francisco ace pitched just well enough to make it really frustrating when the sticks took a holiday; this time in a 3-1 setback versus the Rockies.

It has seemed like a cursed week for the Giants and the team's extended family; cursed enough that Monday's beaning of Buster Posey feels like small potatoes. There were losses in the Cepeda and Feeney families earlier this week, and last night the Crawfords dealt with the passing of BCraw's' sister-in-law in Southern California. A cloud seems to hang over this team, and the 4-7 start to the season certainly doesn't help.

Bumgarner certainly wasn't perfect, surrendering a two-run homer to Trevor Story in the fourth and a two-our RBI single to Mark Reynolds in the sixth. Unfortunately there was a bigger story being written: the Giants' totally punchless offense.

Mister Hard Luck got shafted again. (AP)

Denard Span opened up the game with a base hit but was quickly erased on a double play. The Giants didn't get another hit until Brandon Belt lined a single off Story's glove at short to lead off the seventh. San Francisco would eventually break through in that frame, scoring a run on Eduardo Nunez's sacrifice fly, but it never really felt like they were in the game.

There still was that glorious moment of exquisite angst. A ball that hit Colorado closer Greg Holland in the leg, full swinging bunt, and a base on balls loaded the bases with one out in the  ninth.

Set the stage: tying run in scoring position, winning run on base, and (wait for it)  Nunez promptly hit into a 4-6-3 double play because that's just how this Eli-Roth-meets-Wes-Craven-with-a-bad-case-of-gas season has gone.

This one swing told the tale. (AP)

The team is lifeless in it makes the casual observer start to question some of the moves. Buster Posey is hurt, Crawford was unavailable (although he pinch hit late), there's no offense coming from left field, and the one bright spot from the previous game (Nick Hundley) was told to take a seat. Granted, the Giants are in a Fellowship of the Ring-type march with no days off in the first 19 games, but you gotta get some offense somewhere. The Giants occasionally tap into the source but sometime seem to get amnesia regarding the location.

Does it seem right that Matt Cain has a victory before Bumgarner does? Thursday was actually his worst of three starts: the others an Opening Day outing in which he handed the bullpen a lead and a complete-game 2-1 loss. all told, the Giants have scored just five runs while Bumgarner has been the pitcher of record -- and he homered for two of them.

With friends like these ...

It's still a young season but not too soon to start watching the standings. San Francisco is three games behind an Arizona team that built its lead lead largely by beating up on the G-Men. It's early, but as Yogi Berra noted, it gets late early out there.

Hey, you'll never guess who showed up

Two pitches in, Matt Cain was in trouble. After six pitches he'd surrendered the lead. The Giants had a chance to answer; and couldn't. Yep, it's been that kind of start.

A lead-off  triple and a sacrifice fly put the home team in a hole before the first cha-cha bowl was digested. Then something weird happened: the old Matt Cain showed up. He and an assortment of relievers held the opposition in check in a 6-2 home win over Arizona.

Ponce de Leon makes a house call. (AP)

AJ Pollack's three-bagger and the early deficit had fans dreading a third straight series loss. Instead it was Cain, a strong-ish effort from the bullpen and the bat of a back-up catcher that helped the Giants to their first series win of 2017.

Nick Hundley, spelling the injured Buster Posey, is hitting well enough to make this blogger wonder if maybe it's time Posey saw more time at first base. Hey, it's gotta happen sometime so why not make the transition incremental and save some wear and tear on The Franchise? Brandon Belt has played left, and despite Jarrett Parker's two-hit night it's not like an all-star is holding down that spot.

Down 1-0, the Giants got even in the home half of the fifth, and the rally was set up by Cain's one-out double. Denard Span followed with a base hit up the middle and Cain came home with the equalizer. Kudos to new third base coach Phil Nevin, who never hesitated sending Cain; a move proven wise when Pollock hesitated before throwing home.

Belt walked before Hunter Pence provided the go-ahead, slapping a single to right that allowed Span to come around and put runners at the corners. The Good Guys needed to add but the odds were bleak after Brandon Crawford struck out. Connor Gillespie lightened the mood, coming up with the elusive two-out hit to up the Giants lead to 3-1.

It was good while it lasted. A Mike Lamb ground-rule double followed by a walk to Yasmany Thomas opened the Arizona sixth. Cain's night was over.

Cain pitches and hits. Congrats are deserved. (AP)

San Francisco has been desperate for someone to provide actual relief out of the bullpen. Cory Gearrin provided it. Seriously. Three batters, three strikeouts. So that's how that feels.

Miller had his own Waterloo in the home half of the sixth. Joe Panik and Parker opened with singles (a left fielder got a hit?) but Miller was left in to face Aaron Hill, who hit for Gearrin. Hill whiffed and Miller exited in favor of Andrew Chafin.

Now remember, these are the Giants and add-on runs are as common as rainy days in the Sahara. Span launched an absolute bomb to triples alley but the wind knocked it down. Belt grounded out, threat over. Yeah, we're very familiar with how that feels.

The latter stages of the game were played in a monsoon but that didn't keep the Giants from the rarest of commodities; the insurance run. Hundley laced an RBI double off the bricks and Parker added two-run triple to deep center to build a 6-1 lead after seven. Derek Law gave up a run in the eighth because Derek Law gives up runs in the eighth, but the Giants finally had a victory that showcased very little drama.

The story of the night was Cain, who recaptured his former glory long enough to get the win, striking out six and walking three while scattering five hits.

San Francisco climbs to 4-6, having faced Arizona seven times in their first 10 games. They'll be equally sick of nemesis Colorado, who they'll see seven times in their next nine games (who did Larry Baer honk off to get that?) beginning Thursday at the Big Phone.

Glove work, late rally leave much to be desired

So much for the era of good feeling. With Buster Posey on the DL and both Brandon Crawford and Denard Span in the bench, the Giants modest two-game win streak didn't reach three. A 4-3 loss to Arizona on a wet night at AT&T Park dropped the presumed contenders to 3-6 on the young but already frustrating season that has this blogger feeling like he just go dragged ofa United flight by Neegan from "The Walking Dead".

Can this guy play the outfield?

Starting hurlers Jeff Samardzija and Robbie Ray posted almost identical numbers but had very different results as one misplay separated them before a late rally came up 120 feet short.

Posey was sidelined after being beaned by a fastball on Monday and will miss at least a week, so with the team's cleanup hitter missing it made perfect sense to sit the lead-off and number-five guys. Span's offense wasn't missed because it's been non-existent anyway but his glove was another story. Let's explain.

The Giants wasted an early chance against Ray. After Edwin Nunez spanked an infield single with one out in the second, Ray became more obsessed with first base than I was on my first date (a long, long time ago). A pair of walks filled the bases, but Samardzija whiffed and Gorkys Hernandez flied out to deep left to leave 'em loaded.

Samardzija was unable to help himself at the plate but Ray had no such problem. He and AJ Pollock opened up the third with base hits and Paul Goldschmidt followed with a one-out walk as the Diamondbacks re-created the bases-loaded, one-out situation; and they cashed it in. Hernandez appeared to have a read on Mike Lamb's deep drive to left center but whiffed on the catch, turning a sac fly into a three-run triple.

Remember opening day? Yep, that was Hernandez playing kickball in left. He got the start why? Since the D-backs benefited on both occasions, expect Hernandez to receive a nice fruit basket from Arizona management.

Good teams do good things. Bad teams do bad things. Arizona led 3-0. Guess which team was which.

To emphasize the point, the Giants put two men on in the third but again failed to score. Hunter Pence walked and Nick Hundley singled, but in between Aaron Hill's drive to deep center was run down by Pollock. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. This was having a compound fracture embedded in a salt lick.

It felt as though Samardzija spent most of the evening dancing on the cliff's edge with one foot on a banana peel yet he came one out short of completing seven innings, allowing just those damnable three runs on five hits. Ray would go the same distance while allowing one fewer hit, but he got defensive help. 

There's the ball, and there's the glove.Note they are not together.

San Francisco did make some noise against Diamondbacks reliever JJ Hoover, getting the tying run to the plate before Hill grounded out to end the seventh. After the bullpen served up another run to make it 4-0 Arizona, the Giants had an opportunity to crawl back into the game in the bottom of the eighth. Hundley's double and a Nunez infield single set the table, but the suck hole that has been left field struck again. Chris Marrero hit into a double play. What, you didn't see that coming? 

Joe Panik delivered the Giants first run with a two-out double to score Hundley, leaving the Giants looking up at those same three runs. A HBP got the tying run to the plate but Hernandez (who else?) fanned to end the threat. I don't have Santiago Casilla to hate any more so Hernandez is my new guy. He's Michael Jackson, wearing a glove on one hand for no apparent reason.

The G-men did get one more look at the game, getting the winning run to the plate in the ninth. Hundley's third hit of the night was a two-out double to chase home Pence, who had reached on a walk. Nunez singled in Hundley, then stole second to put the equalizer in scoring position for the pinch-hitting Crawford. 

Cue the storybook ending, then rip out the page. Crawford struck out.

So the Giants found another way to lose. Sometimes it's pitching, sometimes it's offense, and here it was glove work. Hey, ya gotta give points for originality...and variety. I swear, if these guys could put it all together for one game they'd be dangerous. Instead they're still looking for answers.

San Francisco is already underwater with a 2-4 mark against the snakes headed. They'll try to inch closer behind Matt Cain (really?) as the series wraps on Wednesday. We'll open a tab, just in case.

Giants win home opener but cost is still TBD

Over the first week of the season, San Francisco could easily be accused of playing like Little Leaguers. During Monday's home opener a bit of Little League went a long way. It was one of those days that was part comedy and part tragedy, and the lunacy began before the first pitch. It's OK for your team to be on fire; for the ballpark to be on fire was a little much.

Posey shakes loose the cobwebs and Giants fans look on in horror. (AP)

The concession stand conflagration was a minor nuisance compared what happened in the bottom of the first.

Diamondbacks hurler Tajuan Walker went up and in to Buster Posey, who took the bullet in the back of the helmet. Posey was clearly shaken and was promptly removed from the contest. He was taken to a local hospital for observationand The Chronicle reported the injury wasn't believed to be serious; Posey is listed as day to day.

While the prognosis was encouraging, the incident left us as nervous as Sean Spicer facing a lie detector. Head injuries are tricky things, and Giants fans have seen Joe Panik and Brandon Belt lose significant playing time to concussions over the past two seasons. Stay tuned.

God, we needed some comic relief.

The Giants broke a scoreless deadlock with a three-run fourth, plating all the runs on one play in which the ball never left the infield. Matt Moore's Little League double combined with a pair of errors to set the pace in a 4-1 win over Arizona.

Sound medical advice.

The key scoring play was a cross between a Three Stooges routine and my boys' twice-weekly T-ball games. Brandon Crawford got things started with a double, then Joe Panik and Jarrett Parker drew freebies to load the bases.

That brought Moore to the plate, and he topped a dribbler that didn't quite reach the halfway point of the first base line. Walker jumped off the mound and fielded it. That's where the fun begins.

Walker tried to nip Crawford at the plate but his throw short-hopped catcher Jeff Mathis and headed for the backstop. Crawford scored and, as Mathis rushed to retrieve the ball, Panik rushed plateward. Walker covered but Mathis bounced the return throw, letting both Panik and Parker scoot home.

For his part, Moore ended up and second, doubled over in laughter. It ain't funny when it happens to you; but it's bloody hysterical when it's the other guys.

Parker scores in a cloud of dust and he got a hit...finally. (The Chronicle)

The rest of the contest couldn't quite match that level of entertainment. Arizona got on the scoreboard in the top of the fifth on a Yasmany Tomas solo homer; a run the Giants got back in the seventh on Crawford's sacrifice fly.

Moore pitched a strong eight before giving way to closer Mark Melancon, who picked up his second save but had to pitch around lead-off double by Chris Owings to get it done. That kept an impressive streak intact. If we're not mistaken, the last 1-2-3 ninth from a Giants closer cane during the Clinton administration.

So there's tempered hope here. Yes, the Giants opened up losing five out of seven on the road but they're perfect at home. Being 3-5 sounds a load better than 2-6 and you've got to have some place to start, right?

Road trip from Hell closes on positive note

Conventional wisdom states a good baseball team wins half of its games on the road and two thirds of its games at home. That's a 95-win season and should put any team in the thick of a playoff race.

It remains to be seen how San Francisco is going to do at home but the road part of that equation needs a lot of work.

San Francisco held on for a 5-3 victory Sunday at San Diego, raising (yes, raising) it's mark to 2-5 at the conclusion of their seven-game season opening roadie.

It wasn't artistic by any stretch of the imagination unless you're into Picasso, in which case it's a bloody masterpiece because it looks nothing like what it's supposed to be. What it was, however, was a win, and when you're struggling to get out of the staring blocks you'll tape finger paintings up in the Louvre if you can put one in the win column.

All of the issues were there: shaky pitching, a pending bullpen collapse, failure to add on to a lead, and maybe something to do with the Earth's gravitational pull, but the lead-in to Monday's home opener won't smack of desperation -- nice since they face the same Arizona team that just cleaned their collective clock.

San Francisco jumped in front in the second when Chris Marrero tallied the first hit from a Giants left fielder this season -- and it only took seven games! The RBI single broke an 0-for 22 skid from the rotating cast of clowns, chasing home Buster Posey (walk) and sending Brandon Crawford (single) to third. Padres' first sacker Wil Myers went Ali on the return throw from right field and punched it into the dugout, allowing BCraw to waltz home via the error.

Wait, was that a save? Just checking; we hadn't seen one since September.

The Giants padded that 2-0 lead an inning later when Pence reached out and hooked a two-run bomb to the base of the used-to-be-before-it-became-the-facade-for-an-escalator Western Metal Supply Company building. Posey followed with an oppo shot and the Giants held a comfortable 5-0 lead.

Comfortable is a relative term. Did you really think it was gonna be that easy?

Johnny Cueto was cruising but Myers got a measure of revenge with a two-run homer in the sixth. San Diego then proceeded to load the bases as Giants fans everywhere looked on in horror in anticipation of another meltdown. But Cueto shook, shimmied, popped, and probably did a bit of the robot to wiggle off the hook and the Giants maintained a 5-2 edge.

Meanwhile, back on alternate programming, the Giants offense disappeared, and it looked like the failure to add-on was going to cost them.

Cueto lasted seven sometimes-shaky innings as manager Bruce Bochy seemed more than reluctant to go to the pen. Gee, I can't imagine why.

After 104 pitches it was time for some relief, and Derek Law failed to provide it. His first batter faced, The unpronounceable and barely spellable Yangervis Solarte, went deep, and we retreated to a nearby corner to assume the fetal position as the Giants nursed a 5-3 lead into the ninth.

Mark Melancon got a second try at his first Giants save and gave up a one-out single followed by a walk to bring Myers to the plate as the potential winning run. Swear to God, Tim Burton is directing this season. But Myers mercifully grounded into a 6-4-3 double play, allowing us to step back for the ledge and celebrate a second consecutive series of not getting swept. There were fireworks, heavy drinking and cries of "Excelsior!" Enjoy the revels.

So its back to San Francisco for some day baseball and the Giants hope to turn the page and start anew. Baseball doesn't allow for do-overs but it does sometimes give you two legitimate opening days, and a well-played win in from of yet another sell-out crowd can go a long way toward righting the ship.

A left fielder and some relief help wouldn't hurt either.

Bill Murray to the white courtesy phone, please

Madison Bumgarner can be forgiven for looking at the calendar and expecting to see February 2. Yeah, that's a "Groundhog  Day" reference because so far this season he's been treated as poorly as he was a year ago.

On opening day the bullpen was handed a lead, which it promptly blew. On Saturday, despite a shaky start, MadBum limited San Diego to two runs only to see the offense let him down.

The Giants were limited to just five hits and the offensive highlight was a long foul ball by Buster Posey in the ninth as San Francisco fell to 1-5 with  2-1 loss at San Diego, further cementing their spot in the NL West cellar.

Bumgarner gave up single runs in each of the first two innings but deserved a better fate. The Giants' ace allowed six hits, striking out five while going the eight-inning distance. It was the bats that didn't show up.

Scoring runs had not been a problem for the Giants but on a night that they got the pitching they so desperately craved, they couldn't dent journeyman starter Jhoulys Chacin. He tore through the San Francisco lineup like an F-5 through a trailer park, and only back-to-back hits from Posey and Brandon Crawford with two out in the ninth against the Padres' bullpen kept the Giants from putting up their first goose egg of the year.

On the bright side, for the first time all year the Giants pitching staff did not surrender a lead. Kinda hard to give up something you never had, I guess.

At least this guy was pretty good. (NBCBA via Twitter)

It's a familiar refrain for Bumgarner, who has taken over the mantle of hard luck hurler from one-time workhorse Matt Cain. Over his still relatively-short career, Bumgarner has thrown 15 complete games; he's lost six of them.

This marks only the fourth time in franchise history the Giants have lost five of their first six and first time they've done so since 2008 when they lost 90 games. This is not the look of a contender.

He problems aren't hard to pinpoint. Pitchers have been blowing leads in wholesale fashion and each of the starters has been involved. The bullpen is as compromised as ever. Closer Mark Melancon, the one significant off-season addition, has appeared in exactly one game; blowing his only save opportunity.

The outfield is providing little. Hunter Pence is batting .316 but has driven in just one run..Oft-injured Denard Span continues to disappoint in both production and attendance, Left field has been an unmitigated disaste, providing exactly no hits  in the campaign's first week despite a rotating crew of hopefuls.

Right now it's a SportsCenter highlight if a Giants leftfielder produces a two-hopper to shortstop.

The recent signings of reliever Ryan Webb and outfielders Drew Stubbs and Melvin Upton Jr., all recently released, shows the depth of the Giants' desperation. It leaves a person to wonder why these glaring deficiencies went inaddressed to the off-season when they were actually good players available. Now the Giants are looking at castoffs and trying to catch lightning in a bottle.

So what now? Despite the angina-inducing first week, there is still a great deal of baseball left to be played. The question is whether the Giants are gonna figure this out or if this is who they are.

Only time will tell, but the initial glance hasn't been pretty.

Confession: I never enjoyed the string section

There are slow starts, and there's whatever the hell this is. A 9-3 drubbing in the desert dropped the Giants to 1-3 on the young season, and thank whatever deity you recognize that there are still 158 games left to get the stink off.

This is not a happy Shark.He's not the only unhappy camper. (AP) 

This is a full-body stink; that kind that starts between your toes and migrates upward until vultures are circling and lesser birds are falling from the sky, and no amount of Axe or Irish Spring is gonna keep your eyes from watering.

So far the Giants have proven two things: (1) they know how to grab a lead, and (2) they know how to cough one up.

In the four games this year, Giants pitchers have coughed up seven leads. Yup, SEVEN. Four of those have come at the expense of the starters and each one of them has been guilty. And that was supposed be the team's strong suit. Oy vey! Of course, the bullpen has looked awful as well because it's virtually the same bullpen as last year, and that one was awful too. Imagine that.

San Francisco has had a lead in every game, meaning hopes and dreams are getting crushed on a nightly basis. Thursday was no different as the Giants struck first. Aaron Hill spelled Joe Panik and the move paid off as the former Diamondback bit (sorry) his former team when he uncoiled (stop it!) a solo blast in the third off Robbie R

Aaron Hill rounds the bags; Jake Lamb ponders his revenge. (AP)

ay. San Francisco doubled the lead in the fourth but but it didn't last.

Jeff Samardzija's weakness has always been the long ball and Chase Field surrenders enough rockets to be an auxiliary launch site for NASA, so there was little surprise when David Perralta and Paul Goldschmidt went back to back in the home fourth off the SF starter. Perralta had the typical Chase fly ball that just kept going but Goldschmidt's blast is still in a holding pattern st Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. 

(Side note: if your choice is being stranded at Sky Harbor or having bamboo shoved under your fingernails, pick the latter and be thankful it's not a harder wood).

The Giants retook the lead in the sixth when Buster Posey lined a double inside third to chase home Hunter Pence, who had opened the inning with a walk before moving up to second on a pitch in the dirt. It was the 100th, and last, pitch of  the night for Ray and just the third hit he had allowed; but all three of the safeties chased home runs.

San Francisco had a chance to add on versus veteran reliever Jorge De La Rosa, who walked a pair to load the bags with two out. Chris Marrero continued finding out his excellent spring matters little when games are played for real; the baby outfielder flied out with the bases-loaded to end the frame.

Half a frame later it was the usual suspects that left the Giants wishing they'd taken advantage. Perralta led off  with a four-pitch walk, Goldschmidt followed with a base hit, and perennial Giant killer Mike Lamb made boom-boom; 5-3 Arizona.

Another walk and base hit finally chased Samardzija. The inherited runner that Hunter Strickland allowed to score mattered little. The Giant' goose was already royally charbroiled, and the three runs tagged on in the eighth courtesy Ty Blaach's two-out disappearing act were just fodder for the stat geeks, and it certainly didn't help his bid to be the fifth starter following Matt Cain's pending flameout.

So what now? The Giants head off to San Diego, which is where last season's second-half free fall began, and they make the trek with more questions than answers. You can't point to anything and say "That part of the operation is working." The most entertaining aspect of the series was counting the number of times Eduardo Nunez lost his helmet. BTW, the answer is five and we bet the under. 

Whatever the reasons, the Giants will try to get the taste of crap salad out of their mouths Friday afternoon -- I suggest seafood at the Chart House. 

There will be a minor shake-up with Hunter Strickland missing the series for paternity leave (best excuse ever), Steven Okert takes his place.

Yes, it's early in the season and there's so much yet to see. Of course, they can say that about icebergs, too, and I'm starting to hear the first echoes of a violin.

(box)

What this team really needs is a do-over.

We're still trying to find out voice, migrating from last year's pseudo play-by-play to something more opinion based. So instead of taking copious notes on the positioning of infielders with two strikes and a full moon we've tried to soak in the feel and attitude of the game.

And right now this feels like crud and our attitude blows.

One of the trademarks of a winning baseball team is the ability to take an opponent's mistakes and beat them into submission with them.

While it's still unclear how good, if at all, the 2017 Giants are, we've already seen both sides of that coin. The Giants rode a crucial error on Tuesday to notch their first win of the season, then made that miscue on Wednesday to open up the floodgates en route to blowing a lead for the second time in three games.  

And the pitching hasn't helped. God knows, the pitching hasn't helped.

To date, the starters have been spotty, the bullpen abysmal, and because of that the Giants have surrendered 18 runs over the first three games. We'd feared offense might be an issue but the Giants have clubbed out 5, 8 and 6 runs over than same span only to go 1-2. They hope for the series equalizer Thursday before heading to San Diego -- the ceremonial burial ground of last season's fast start.

I'm ready to hand a viking funeral to the 2017 launch right now. Commish Rob Manfred love changing rules. Can we have a do-over?

I can hear (figuratively) the bottled being hurled at screens and smart phones right now, wondering why I'm throwing the starters on the steaming pile of whatever has been steaming since Sunday. Matt Moore can surely be forgiven considering his implosion coincided with Brandon Belt's attempt to field a grounder with a dust pan. But keep in mind he helped create than mess and didn't help clean it up, and the number of pitches he used to accomplish nothing made

We need a bright spot and darn it, Nunez is one. (USA Today)

him look like a member of Congress.

It's sacrilege to throw shade on Madison Bumgarner. The optimist looks at his 11-strikeout, seven inning performance and thinks he was awesome. The pessimist (raises hand)  wonders how a 3-0 lead disappears within three batters. Johnny Cueto had the same issue, pitching well right up the point that he didn't. I've seen blunts and Grateful Dead shows take more time to go up in smoke than those leads did.

But most troubling is still the bullpen. There are a lot of new haircuts down there but so far we're getting the same results. Relievers have thrown a combined 8 1/3 innings and they've been memorable only for the flashbacks to last year's ineptitude they've prompted. At this point we're considering calling in the team from "Inception" to pry those thoughts out of out head, and backing them up with the "Total Recall" crew to implant something more pleasant -- possibly involving Kate Upton.

The left eye began to twitch when Mark Melancon blew his first save opportunity on opening day, getting the first two hitters he faced before blowing up like Charlie Sheen's career. We'll let you know when Melancon gets the third out -- its been three days and we're still waiting.

Cueto's pitching wasn't stellar but at least his base running was entertaining. (MLB)

Cory Gearrin is still Cory Gearrin, Derek Law doesn't yet know who Derek Law is, and nobody knows who Neil Ramirez is or where he game from. Wait, the statistician tell us he came from Minnesota, and Milwaukee, and Chicago after being drafted by Texas. The statistician has too much free time and needs to go grab us a Starbucks.

It's early but none of these guys are paying immediate dividends. Yes, you have to sit on your Google stock if you want it to pay off but at some point Jim Kramer jumps in and tells you to hit the sell button before it all goes poof.

GM Bobby Evans remains steadfast in his belief that the Giants were just a spate of bad luck away from greatness last season so the cast of characters remains largely intact. Melancon was added because three years of Santiago Casilla (I just threw up in my mouth) serving up rockets was finally enough, but that's the extent of the makeover.

There are some players they must have patience with -- Law is a prime example. But there's either denial, blind loyalty or some form of blackmail that keeps the Giants from  the much-needed housecleaning. The bullpen is shaky, the rotation has a fifth starter whose career was over after 2013 (Matt Cain is the new Jake Peavy), and there's still no answer in left field. The over/under on Drew Stubbs making his Giants debut is seven days.

It's not all doom and gloom. Hunter Pence, Brandon Crawford and a finally-healthy Eduardo Nunez are on fire and both Belt and Joe Panik are making noise, which is great when you're talking about offense and not the moron next door with the 3 am car stereo serenade.  The Giants have score 19 runs. Imagine the fun when Buster Posey gets going. But Denard Span is already gimpy and the black hole that is left field is poised to suck up scoring opportunity like Joey Chestnut slurping hot dogs.

Enough venting. It's too early in the season to say anybody stinks or is poised to take on the world. There are 162 games; everyone wins 54 games, everyone loses 54. The hope is that the games being surrendered now aren't coming out of that third group of contests.

And, of course, the hope is also that Giants management learned a lesson a year ago and doesn't let another opportunity get away.

Get me a new calendar; this one's broken.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I had this idea that my handful of readers might wonder what would bring me out of my off-season slumber. Not curiosity on the level of  "Did Trump collude with the Russians?" but maybe somewhere between "Did I leave the the iron on?" and "Whatever happened to Pauly Shore?". 

And then, all mystery was lost and you knew the following rant was barreling down the Ethernet cable like a white Bronco careening down the 405.

I was all set to rave about the wonder that is Madison Bumgarner. Bumgarner became the Giants' all-time leader in home runs for a pitcher AND became the first hurler to go deep twice on opening day in Major League history. And all that was shot to hell thanks the problem continues to plague the Giants.

At least on Opening Day, the bullpen still sucks. It seems as though 2016 never ended.

Arizona's 6-5 walk-off win was a cruel joke to Giants fans who just a few short months ago saw their season end in similar fashion. The bullpen was a glaring weakness through last season and the early returns on 2017 don't show much improvement, despite General Manager Bobby Evans's assurances that the pen would be just fine.

Bobby also does a great job selling lakefront property with Erik Estrada, and an extended stint peddling reverse mortgages is probably on the horizon.  

This is what a ballplayer looks like. (via Twitter)

Bumgarner left Sunday's game in Arizona after seven innings holding a 4-3 edge. And then the bullpen, just as it did last year, came tumbling down like a poorly designed Jenga tower built on a Play-doh foundation sitting on top of a bed of uncooked jazmine rice spilled beach side as the tide rolled in.

Early on that seemed this was going to be a dream start to the season. Bumgarner was magnificent through five, retiring the first 16 hitters he faced before a three-batter hiccup in the sixth allowed Arizona to knot the score. The Giants had built a 3-0 lead on a second-inning sacrifice fly by Joe Panik, Bumgarner's fifth-inning solo rocket, and an RBI base hit in the six by Eduardo Nunez. Then it all started to come apart like a wet paper towel blasted with bird shot.

Bumgarner finally proved mortal, allowing a grounder inside the bag third for Arizona's first hit and base runner of the game. The situation was made worse when so-called defensive replacement Gorkys Hernandez played the ball in the corner with a fork and a boxing glove, turning a single into a three-bagger and putting Bumgarner in the stretch for the first time. Two batters and two hits later the lead was gone as AJ Pollack went deep to lock the contest at 3-3.

Yep, he's pretty good. (NBCBASN via Twitter)

Again the chance to praise Bumgarner presented itself as his second homer of the day, a towering blast down the left field line, put the Giants back in front 4-3. It was his last significant act of the game as he departed in the eighth for newly-minted set-up man Derek Law -- who actually set up the Diamondback quite well.

Law faced three hitters, retiring none, and Arizona caught the Giants. Ty Blach and Hunter Strickland got out of the jam but the game went to the final frame deadlocked 4-4.  Then is was Arizona's turn to falter as Panik's lead-off triple and a Connor Gillaspie fly ball put San Francisco back in front.

It was a moment we'd waited for; a legitimate closer coming in to lock down a game. Mark Melancon, the one significant pick-up for the offseason, strode to the hill nary a Santiago Casilla in sight. Melacon was shaky but got the first two men out on a whiff and Panik's diving nab of a ground ball.

We were ready to head for dinner. This was how it was supposed to be. Jeff Mathis singled to center, sort of. The ball was in the gap and Hernandez slid, kicking the ball like he was Landon Donovan in the process before Denard Span chased it down. Melancon, he of $60 million contract, was human. He'd get the next guy, right?

Daniel Descalso singled to center. Tie game. So much for the next guy, dammit! Pollack singled to center, sending Descalso to third. This kind of stuff couldn't happen again, could it? Uh, yes. Chris Owings dumped a single to right and this one was in the loss column. Expletives and unsecured object flew through my home like an F-5 swirling through a trailer park. Surely you had your own.

The only thing missing was a number 46 on the closer's back. Otherwise you could have convinced me it was still September.

The Giants did semi-well offensively, banging out 11 hits, but they'll lament not cashing in more. They had D-backs ace Zack Greinke on the ropes early and managed to get him out of the contest after five frames with some disciplined at-bats. It was all for naught. How disturbing was this outcome? We're this deep into the post and that the first mention of Greinke, who I enjoy seeing beaten almost as much as I enjoy Marvel movies.

The most glaring missed opportunity game in the ninth. After retaking the lead the Giants failed to add on despite sending both Buster Posey and Brandon Crawford to the plate with the bases loaded. We got loaded after.

Bumgarner should be used to this. Despite his 11-strikeout performance he walks away with a no-decision because the bullpen stumbled. Gee, where have we seen that before. MadBum allowed just two of the Diamondbacks' 13 hits, which should give those with any understanding of basic math the general sense of how bad the bullpen really was.

The Giants get a chance to ponder their folly on Monday with action resuming the following day at Chase Field with Johnny Cueto squaring off against Patrick Corbin in search of the Giants' first win of 2017.

(box)

THE SEASON AWAKENS!

Another epic bullpen collapse ends Giants season

Really, could this season have ended any other way? 

The largest ninth-inning comeback in postseason history punctuated a season filled with bullpen failure, and so ended the San Francisco Giants season. 

Carrying a 5-2 lead into the ninth inning and sitting just three outs away from forcing a penultimate Game Five, the Giants bullpen wrecked it. Five pitchers, aided by an error, surrendered four runs as San Francisco's season went down to defeat in appropriate fashion: they gave it away.

How fitting was it that the closer San Francisco fans pleaded for was on the hill for the opposition when it ended. Chicago had the ability to close a game out. San Francisco hadn't showed that capacity all year as the front office crossed it's fingers and hoped for the best. As it was, the major expenditures, both in cash and personnel, were undone by a bargain basement relief corps. At the time they most needed someone to close it out, they Giants had nothing. Nothing. Nothing. 

Even year magic? Nothing more than a good marketing slogan.

There will be a lot of finger-pointing but the  bottom line is this: San Francisco's bullpen was awful all year. The deficiency was obvious. Management fiddled while Rome burned and now the season lies in ashes. Bobby Evans, Brian Sabean: well done. Your team lost because it deserved it. With an entire season on the line, five pitchers can't get three outs while trying to protect a three-run lead? Only one word comes to mind: "inept".

Seventy-eight times in their history the Giants had carried a lead into the ninth inning of the postseason game. They had never lost under those circumstances. Under Manager Bruce Bochy they were 10-0 when facing elimination.

Only this group could blow that kind of karma.

Starting pitcher Matt Moore was in complete control of the ball game. His pitch count was elevated (120 tosses after eight innings) but he was cruising. He'd retired the previous seven hitters and had struck out 10 while allowing just two hits. He hadn't allowed a hit since the fourth. He'd struck out two in the eighth, so naturally he had to come out.

Yeah, watch the other guys celebrate. Fun, huh? (SF Gate / The Chronicle)

Only Bochy can explain why he chose to make a switch. Whatever his reasoning, he was proven to be dead wrong. Come on, Boch! You knew the bullpen stunk. You had a guy on the hill who'd thrown 133 pitches earlier this year, and he was dealing! He starts the ninth. Anything else is managerial malpractice.

Until the pen got involved the night had been glorious. A fast start seemed essential, and the Giants delivered one. Denard Span led led off the home first with a double and scored on back-to-back fly balls. Buster Posey logged the RBI and three batters into the game the Giants were up 1-0.

Chicago got that run back in the third on a homer by veteran catcher David Ross but the Giants jumped back on top with two in the fourth and another deuce in the fifth. It should have been enough, even after the Cubs got one in the top half of the fifth on Brandon Crawford's throwing error. Unfortunately those eight glorious innings just set the stage for a horrific ninth.

Moore departed in a move that echoed Dusty Baker pulling Russ Ortiz with a 5-0 lead and just seven outs standing between the Giants and the 2002 title. Baker may never be forgiven, and neither should those responsible for this debacle. 

The first four Cubs hitters reached, each against different hurlers. Ben Zobrist's double off Sergio Romo made it 5-3 and put the tying runs in scoring position. The carnage continued against Will Smith as Willson Contreras singled to tie the game. Four pitchers, four baserunners, three hits, tie game. Sickening.

A double play could have provided relief but the 1-6-3 destined to take place on Jason Heyward's poor sacrifice attempt went awry when Crawford made his second throwing error of the night. One out, runner at second. Enter Hunter Strickland. Javier Baez, a thorn in the Giants side all series, completed the collapse with an RBI single up the middle.

Up 6-5 the Cubs turned to closer Aroldis Chapman, a trade deadline collectible the Giants fan base desperately coveted. The Giants had racked him a night earlier, and those occasions are rare. Chapman mowed the Giants down in order. Season, dismal season, over.

The Giants asked Derek Law, Javier Lopez, Romo, Smith and Strickland to get three outs. They responded with four runs on four hits, throwing 24 pitches. Game, set, match. Far from providing relief, the elephant in the room crushed the life right out of every Giants fan who hadn't already retreated into a Jose Quervo-fueled haze. By comparison, the Cubs got five relief innings out of five men, allowing two runs on four hits. 

That was the difference between Game Five and watching the rest of the season on TV -- provided you can bear to watch. 

San Francisco wasted not only Moore's stellar outing but an 11-hit attack (the Cubs had just six hits, just to twist the knife). Conor Gillaspie had a four-hit night while Panik and Span added two. They should have been heroes, not footnotes. 

And so it was that the Giants finished what will certainly be remembered as one of the greatest collapses in Major League history. A team that held the best record in the sport at the All-Star Break fell off a cliff and never regained it's footing as it tumbled toward oblivion. They scratched and clawed their way into the postseason but in the end simply didn't have the goods. We could have told management that. Every caller, blogger and message board dweller warned of impending doom but the front office knew better.  

We see how that worked out.

With distance this will become just one more season where the Giants came up short. Old timers like this scribe grew up on them. But this regime was supposed to be different. These were winners, solid guys who didn't beat themselves. Isn't that "The Giants Way"? This season began with great hope, but it was all a mirage. In the end all they did was rip our hearts out.

It's baseball, nothing but sport. We will recover; but that's not gonna happen anytime soon. The 2002 and 2003 seasons still haunt every fiber of our being. We still see Candy Maldonado sliding to catch nothing in 1987. The images are seared into our brain, and so is the hurt.

The 2016 is dead. Some of our soul left with it. Shame on you, Giants. Shame on you.

- box-

Offense awakens late; Giants refuse to die

This is our 200th post of the season, and it’s not gonna be the last. The weaknesses the San Francisco Giants displayed over the final three months of the season were manifest Monday night, and the Giants overcame. Joe Panik’s RBI double capped a 6-5, 13-inning marathon as the Giants held off elimination and lived to battle for at least one more day.

For a team that had never lost a postseason series under Manager Bruce Bochy, being swept out of existence by Chicago was a staggering prospect. But for the 10^th consecutive time, San Francisco stared elimination in the face and made it blink.

The hopes of an entire fan base once were again placed on the broad shoulders of Madison Bumgarner, who came into the contest riding a streak of 23 scoreless postseason innings. That quickly came to an end. With one out in the second, Bumgarner hit Addison Russell with a pitch and Javier Baez followed with a shot that third sacker Connor Gillaspie knocked down but had to eat. Bumgarner managed to get out number two and it seemed he would wiggle free with opposing pitcher Jake Arrieta coming up, but Bumgarner left a pitch over the middle of the plate and Arietta launched it into the left field seats: 3-0 Cubs.

This is what a walk-off looks like. (CSN Bay Area)

Bumgarner's air of invincibility certainly had been punctured. He lasted just five innings, needing 101 pitches to get that far. He struck out four and walked one, giving up the three earned runs on seven hits; not exactly the outing we've come to expect from him with the season on the line. He retired the side in order only once; in the final inning he pitched. The collection of un-Bumgarner like numbers did somewhat disguise the fact that all of the damage came on one swing of the bat.

But there was still a fight in the G-Men. Arrieta, the reigning Cy Young Award winner, was hardly invincible himself. The Giants got their first run in the bottom half of the third on a single by Denard Span and Buster Posey's two-out RBI base hit. Span struck again in the fifth, lining a triple into, what else, Triples Alley, and he scored on Brandon Belt's sacrifice fly to cut the gap to 3-2.

Then came the sixth, and one call by the boys in blue that could have had Giants fans talking for years had things not turned out differently. MLB proved once and for all that it's replay system is irreparably broken.

Leading off the Giants half of the sixth, Gillaspie's ground ball up the middle was gloved by Javier Baez and flipped toward Anthony Rizzo at first. Rizzo clearly came off the bag. You saw it. We saw it. Matt Vasgersian and John Smoltz saw it. Guide dogs in training, Mr. Magoo, you name it: this call was as obvious as Elton John's weave.

Apparently the only folks in the nation who didn't see it that way were the replay officials in New York. The Giants' challenge was denied and what might have sparked a rally instead ended up a 1-2-3 inning for the Cubs. The official word from MLB was that no definitive angle showed when the ball impacted Rizzo's glove and the okay stood as called. What that had to do with his foot being off the bag beats the hell out of us

Arrieta went six, giving up two runs on six hits while striking out five against one walk. The Giants certainly weren't sorry to see him go. However, San Francisco had enjoyed no luck against the Cubs bullpen all season. With outs fast dwindling, the Giants best chance to draw even seemed to be the bottom of the eighth. Travis Wood was on to pitch as the Giants sent up the meat of the order. Belt opened the frame with a single and Wood was a memory, replaced by Hector Rondon.

Buster Posey walked. The tying run moved to second base. Eric Young, anyone? No, but it was the end for Rondon as Cubs manager Joe Maddon asked closer Aroldis Chapman to deliver a six-out save for only the second time in his career. You remember Chapman, the guy Giants' fans begged to acquire, the trade deadline kewpie doll who would've spared us three months of watching Santiago Casilla implode like an aging Las Vegas casino?

Hunter Pence struck out. Gillaspie (pause for dramatic effect) crushed one. His triple toward the far reaches of left center plated two of the Giants' slowest runners and provided their first lead of the night. It was San Francisco's first run in 33-plus innings against the Cubs bullpen, and they weren't done. Brandon Crawford singled up the middle against a drawn-in infield to score Gillespie and pad the lead to 5-3. Chapman managed just one out before being replaced. For the Giants it was the rally of the season.

And it wasn’t enough.

Premature jocularity as Gillaspie and Roberto Kelly celebrate a big hit. (CSN Bay Area)

The game was turned over to Sergio Romo, the old closer made new, and he was asked to run the gauntlet. He didn’t get out of the starting blocks. Dexter Fowler drew a six-pitch walk, and Kris Bryant went yard, bouncing a slider that didn’t slide off the top of the Chevron cars. The air was sucked out of the park. Talk about popping the balloon. The Hindenberg didn’t blow up that fast. The Giants much-maligned pen had lived up to its reputation.

It looked like the Giants would walk off in the ninth. Belt drew a one-out walk and Posey lined a shot toward the right field corner. Albert Almora Jr. robbed him with a diving catch. Belt, who was halfway to Brisbane when the ball was caught, was easily doubled up to send the game to extras. In Belt’s defense, it was a great catch. And can you imagine the furor if that ball lands and he doesn’t score? Sometimes you just tip your cap.

With Derek Law and Hunter Strickland having already been used, Romo was sent back out or the 10^th. He retired the side in order, striking out two and leaving us to wonder where the hell that had been an inning earlier Will Smith pitched the 11^th inning and Ty Blach the 12^th and 13^th, giving the Giants multiple chances to walk off. In the bottom of the 13^th they finally cash one in. Crawford’s double into the right field corner started things off, and Panik followed with the game winner off the bricks in deep right.

Blach got the win in relief, the last of five Giants pitchers to appear over the five hours and four minutes of gut-wrenching baseball. Panik and Posey led a 13-hit outburst with three hits each. Span and Crawford both hit safely twice.

With a one-day reprieve from baseball execution, San Francisco looks to Matt Moore (13-12, 4.08 ERA), making his postseason debut, in an effort to extend its campaign.  The Cubs will ask John Lackey (11-8, 3.35 ERA) to close it out. A Giants sends the series back to Chicago for a winner-take-all tilt on Thursday.

God help us.

- box-